There is...
One person,
who really gets me.
One person,
who knows me better than I do.
One person,
who always know the right words.
One person,
who always make me smile again no matter what.
One person,
who can make me laugh when my heart is breaking.
One person,
who truly understand.
One person...
And I realized just a little bit too late.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
You didn't believe me
Twice I've been told:
"You don't believe me!"
"I tell you I love you,
but yo don't believe me!"
Twice
Two people
Different lives
The same words
Twice my heart broke.
Would it if I didn't believe?
Twice I've been told:
"I only want you to be happy!"
"I don't make you happy,
I've failed!"
"Find someone better!"
Twice
Two people
Same words
Now I realize
You never believed me
Twice I said:
I do believe you
You do make me happy
There is no one better
But you didn't listen
You didn't hear that
You didn't believe me!
"You don't believe me!"
"I tell you I love you,
but yo don't believe me!"
Twice
Two people
Different lives
The same words
Twice my heart broke.
Would it if I didn't believe?
Twice I've been told:
"I only want you to be happy!"
"I don't make you happy,
I've failed!"
"Find someone better!"
Twice
Two people
Same words
Now I realize
You never believed me
Twice I said:
I do believe you
You do make me happy
There is no one better
But you didn't listen
You didn't hear that
You didn't believe me!
Saturday, September 26, 2015
The truth is...
The truth is...
I still love you.
And I probably always will.
No matter what...
In the end...
I'll always forgive you.
That's my biggest problem.
It would be so much easier
If I didn't
I still love you.
And I probably always will.
No matter what...
In the end...
I'll always forgive you.
That's my biggest problem.
It would be so much easier
If I didn't
Friday, September 25, 2015
I wish I could hate you
I wish I could hate you,
but I can't.
It would make things so much easier.
I wish I could take back those last words I wrote,
but I can't.
They are there for always, so black against the white.
I wish you wouldn't look so sad,
but you do.
You left me, so why do I care about your pain?
I wish I would die,
but I promised not to.
Crossing railroad tracks hoping a train will hit me.
I wish I could stop feeling like this,
but I can't.
This is wrong. It shouldn't be like this.
but I can't.
It would make things so much easier.
I wish I could take back those last words I wrote,
but I can't.
They are there for always, so black against the white.
I wish you wouldn't look so sad,
but you do.
You left me, so why do I care about your pain?
I wish I would die,
but I promised not to.
Crossing railroad tracks hoping a train will hit me.
I wish I could stop feeling like this,
but I can't.
This is wrong. It shouldn't be like this.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
I love you
I Love You
You are the first thought in the morning
You are in every thought during the day
You are the last thought when I fall asleep
You are in my dreams during the night
Whatever happens, You are the one person I turn to first
When something good happens I want to share it with You. I know You will always be happy for me
When something bad happens I turn to You for help. I know You can and always will make me smile again
No one knows me as well as You do
No one believes in me the way You do
No one has the patience that You do
No one understands me the way You do
Whatever will happen I just want You to know
When You came in to my life You changed it for the better, forever. I won't give up on life again
When I met You neither of us was smiling. Now I smile all day, every day because of You
You mean the world to me
You made me believe again
You gave the world back to me
You made me feel love again
I Love You
You are the first thought in the morning
You are in every thought during the day
You are the last thought when I fall asleep
You are in my dreams during the night
Whatever happens, You are the one person I turn to first
When something good happens I want to share it with You. I know You will always be happy for me
When something bad happens I turn to You for help. I know You can and always will make me smile again
No one knows me as well as You do
No one believes in me the way You do
No one has the patience that You do
No one understands me the way You do
Whatever will happen I just want You to know
When You came in to my life You changed it for the better, forever. I won't give up on life again
When I met You neither of us was smiling. Now I smile all day, every day because of You
You mean the world to me
You made me believe again
You gave the world back to me
You made me feel love again
I Love You
Friday, June 5, 2015
Anniversary!!!
7 months old today
7 months on Lords of Minecraft
7 months on Twitter
I have met so many nice people
I have met some amazing new friends
I have met my wonderful boyfriend
My life hasn't always been easy
My first husband became a demon
My son tried to kill me
Second time
Second chances
Second crash
Try to smile
Try one smile at a time
Try to fake it till you make it
A comment on a comment
A friend becomes a brother
A brother becomes a boyfriend
It's complicated
It's always been
It's just how it is
7 months on Lords of Minecraft
7 months on Twitter
I have met so many nice people
I have met some amazing new friends
I have met my wonderful boyfriend
My life hasn't always been easy
My first husband became a demon
My son tried to kill me
Second time
Second chances
Second crash
Try to smile
Try one smile at a time
Try to fake it till you make it
A comment on a comment
A friend becomes a brother
A brother becomes a boyfriend
It's complicated
It's always been
It's just how it is
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Confessions
Hi, my name is Ishi Emi and I'm a Twitter addict. I spend all my days and all my nights on Twitter. I fall asleep with Twitter in my hands. When I wake up at night I must check my Twitter no matter how tired I am. I must check Twitter before I can go back to sleep. It's been 2 seconds since I checked my Twitter last and I feel a need to check again very soon. Hm, let me see... ... ... okay, done! Moving on.
I did a "spring cleaning" on my oldest account. Only following accounts that followed me back or have too good tweets to get rid of. I need material to retweet, don't I? Having a lot of free space I started to follow people from my other accounts, as many as Twitter limits allowed. I did this late at night which would prove to be a mistake. Notifications of new followers were insane, frequent buzzing kept me from sleeping. I gained 300 new followers in 24 hours most of them during the first hours. Undeniably funny and pleasing because numbers do count, don't they?
I went to mention this Twitter success to my boyfriend, very warily knowing he's not too impressed with my numbers obsession. Threats have actually been made of calling dr Phil... On my way to share my wonderful news with him I stumbled across his latest posting on Instagram and I was reminded of what's really important. The people we love and care about. He's been telling me this all a long, but well numbers... they are there for a reason. To make us hunt for more followers and lager numbers... Hey, I am a Twitter addict.
My numbers obsession was challenged by my boyfriends posting on Instagram, though. It was a picture I had given him, but what really made me forget everything else was the caption... Honestly, words cannot describe what he means to me... My intention with this post was not to get all lovvy dovvy, but... ... ...
Anyway.
I start to talk about Instagram and he assumes I'm talking about my account with my photos and poems. Even though this wasn't what I meant, as I explained above, it made me think. His assumption made me understand something I hadn't really thought about... Of course he's what's most important in my life, as well as my amazing friends, but I realized that my Instagram account definitely is more important than Twitter. I don't have many followers and I don't care about the numbers. Maybe this gives the impression my Instagram doesn't matter to me, but that's wrong. My photos on Instagram, my poems on Instagram, that's me. All me. Twitter isn't.
In the beginning of my time on Twitter I used it mainly to promote my blog. Not this one but the one I had/have under my first Internet alias. Somewhere down the line I got caught up in the Twitter games. I forgot about these other things, the things that are me. Instead I started retweeting other people. Other peoples photos, because obviously they are better than mine. I am an amateur and I only have my phone and tablet. Of course a 500 megapixel camera takes better pictures. Other peoples poems and quotes because they have a message I can relate to. Something that speaks to my heart or my soul, challenging the thoughts in my head.
During my "spring cleaning" I found a tweet: "Be a voice, not an echo!" I instantly retweeted, realizing a retweet is nothing but an echo. And that I need to find my own voice again...
This... is the real me
I did a "spring cleaning" on my oldest account. Only following accounts that followed me back or have too good tweets to get rid of. I need material to retweet, don't I? Having a lot of free space I started to follow people from my other accounts, as many as Twitter limits allowed. I did this late at night which would prove to be a mistake. Notifications of new followers were insane, frequent buzzing kept me from sleeping. I gained 300 new followers in 24 hours most of them during the first hours. Undeniably funny and pleasing because numbers do count, don't they?
I went to mention this Twitter success to my boyfriend, very warily knowing he's not too impressed with my numbers obsession. Threats have actually been made of calling dr Phil... On my way to share my wonderful news with him I stumbled across his latest posting on Instagram and I was reminded of what's really important. The people we love and care about. He's been telling me this all a long, but well numbers... they are there for a reason. To make us hunt for more followers and lager numbers... Hey, I am a Twitter addict.
My numbers obsession was challenged by my boyfriends posting on Instagram, though. It was a picture I had given him, but what really made me forget everything else was the caption... Honestly, words cannot describe what he means to me... My intention with this post was not to get all lovvy dovvy, but... ... ...
Anyway.
I start to talk about Instagram and he assumes I'm talking about my account with my photos and poems. Even though this wasn't what I meant, as I explained above, it made me think. His assumption made me understand something I hadn't really thought about... Of course he's what's most important in my life, as well as my amazing friends, but I realized that my Instagram account definitely is more important than Twitter. I don't have many followers and I don't care about the numbers. Maybe this gives the impression my Instagram doesn't matter to me, but that's wrong. My photos on Instagram, my poems on Instagram, that's me. All me. Twitter isn't.
In the beginning of my time on Twitter I used it mainly to promote my blog. Not this one but the one I had/have under my first Internet alias. Somewhere down the line I got caught up in the Twitter games. I forgot about these other things, the things that are me. Instead I started retweeting other people. Other peoples photos, because obviously they are better than mine. I am an amateur and I only have my phone and tablet. Of course a 500 megapixel camera takes better pictures. Other peoples poems and quotes because they have a message I can relate to. Something that speaks to my heart or my soul, challenging the thoughts in my head.
During my "spring cleaning" I found a tweet: "Be a voice, not an echo!" I instantly retweeted, realizing a retweet is nothing but an echo. And that I need to find my own voice again...
This... is the real me
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